Actual Instruction Labels...

[Joe]

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
<o:p> </o:p>
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
<o:p> </o:p>
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

[deano]

:laff: